On the cozy day of the winter month, sleeping away to glory under the warmth of a furry comforter or lazily reading a novel with nothing to bother about are absolute bliss of life. I thought it was as simple as said and done…. and I could have my wish, my way of life forever…..but my mother always said…. Life changes after marriage darling! You will understand one day!!!…. And I would laugh away….till one day I got married too…
A daughter can have her way, not a daughter-in-law always…… If you thought it was just a trivial issue, its just one of the many things that come in the baggage of dos and don’t s in the journey of a daughter to a daughter-in-law in our society.
It was half past 11 on a Sunday morning and the only child of the Verma’s was asleep in her room. Her loving Ma had called out to her twice, but all in vain. The carefree, bubbly girl continued to make hay in her dreams. She was not a pampered child at all but a free soul.
When Piyali had been done with her late night business concall and later the John Grisham thriller, it was already three in the morning. It was her house and her life and she was not bothered what time of the day it was. Of course, she knew that Mum and the maid in the house were there to take care of the food/household and Dad for rest of the affairs.
Mrs. Verma knew her daughter had been awake late night and thus did not want to disturb her. But she was worried. Something about her daughter’s lifestyle was bothering her hard. She knew there was nothing wrong about it. After-all it was only on the holidays that Piyali lazied around.
But her mother was tensed with the same question that usually haunts all mothers of daughters. Will the ‘In-laws’ understand her daughter? Will they respect her as a person, let her continue with her job that demanded late night participation, live with a carefree lifestyle? She was confident about her daughter that she was a girl of mannerisms and values but unsure about her future.
Mrs. Verma became nostalgic of her early days when her own mother-in-law would force her to wake up early in the wee hours of morning to broom the house, do all odd jobs and prepare three course meals of the day. And even when she completed her work in time, to spare some, her strict mother-in-law would not let her lie down to rest. During the weaker days of the month, she would load her with more work. Those were the old times! Now, she was sure that times had changed but not sure if laws could be broken still.
A daughter is a mother’s gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self.
It has been a few months to Piyali’s marriage. She has already adapted to the ways of her new family. She has fostered a great bond with mother- in- law in too less a time. The effort has been mutual no doubt. The lady with the wisdom and mother of her husband treats her with immense love and respect. To find a perfect mother in a new home is the best thing that can happen to a married woman.
The duo rocks and their love for each other carries a reflection of understanding. Initially Piyali was apprehensive if she would be allowed to sleep till late hours after late night works but she thoroughly enjoys all the freedom of life. Life is beautiful for both Piyali and her mother- in-law. They both refrain from getting into tussles. Mrs.Verma is a happy woman because her daughter is in absolutely safe hands.
It is said that ‘A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend’ but I say ‘ A daughter- in- law comes in the house to be a daughter in the old times.‘
Family members of the grooms family and the relationship of the daughter-in-law with her mother-in-law plays a major factor in marital stress or marital happiness. A large percent of females undergo post nuptial stress because everything is so new around. The discomfort is obvious because they have to leave a known, comforting surrounding to move within unknown walls that is yet to become their own.
Moreover, they have to meet expectations as all eyes are on them. At this time the most comforting woman can be the mother of the groom and she should avoid playing a villainous role. She should accept the wife of her son with the right frame of mind to make the transition comforting for the new woman. The bride should also come with a mind where she should come with a thought that she will find a new mother just like her own and a loving family too.
How can a female make life hell for another female. However, it has been seen that the husbands are liberal but not his parents and especially not his mother, I question Why? Does it run on the same funda which applies to a senior student who rags his juniors just because he had been ragged when he was a futcha. Positive ragging fosters great bonds in student life but ragging by mother in law is not a cool idea in any case. It spoils relationships for life!!!
The daughters are the most precious of treasures, the dearest possessions of homes and the objects of most watchful love. When they leave their family and come in a new house, they deserve to be treated wonderfully. Lets Spark a change by being a good daughter- in- law. Lets spark a change by being a good sister- in- law and lets spark a change by being a good mother- in- law. It can all be handled among the women. Why bother the guys? Both wife and mother love the guy , then why force him to choose between his mother and wife. Both are equally dear and special to him.
Let it be a heart to heart relationship. One can be a friend and other can spread love and together they can fill the house with positive vibrations. My idea of spark of change is that the ladies of one house should develop a deep and a meaningful relationship. Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships can be absolutely fulfilling even if not perfect rather the term ‘In law’ should be deleted off and the relationships should be made free of the these extra words…..Keep it simple… Let it Be just daughters and mothers….!!!! 🙂 🙂
“Once blessed with a wonderful mother, I am twice blessed with my mother-in-law.” – Well said by someone unknown!!
Happy Reading !!!!