When you have a husband who works very-very hard in one of the BIG FOUR management and strategy consulting firms, you must learn to thrive on these three key-words– audit, tax, and advisory. (Honestly, I am hopeless on all the three.)
Read to know what it is to be a partner to one super energetic guy, however the term ‘Partner’ is mentioned quite often in the house and definitely this ‘Partner’ is not you.
- When you marry a Consultant, you walk into a glamorous world! Yes, I call it so because your life is hardly touched by monotony. Even though your parents may thank God uncountable number of times for blessing you with a wonderful partner and a settled life, I bet you will never settle down. You live with a room mate, who packs his bag, leaves on a Monday morning, returns in the wee hours of Friday night and leaves again the following Monday.
- You have all the space in your life, room, cupboard more than you have ever wanted. You live your life, make your decisions because most of the time when you need a second opinion, his plane has already lost touch with the runway. By the time it lands, you are done with the ambiguity. A consultant is always on-the-go, thus the room and the bed is all yours. More, he perfectly knows the art of living a life out of a suitcase, thus you can shop in abundance and keep the Almirah to yourself.
- Work-Life-Balance You read about it, you write about it, you even shout about it but you never get to live through it because a consultant does not believe in the collaboration of these three words. It may lead to a strategic failure in the office, outside the office. You will NEVER see him back from work at 6 p.m.
- Everything can wait but not the emails… Even the maid in my house knows that hubby does something on his laptop late nights, early mornings, on the weekends, while having dinner and its called ’email’. The moment he enters the house on the days when he is in the city, first thing he says is ‘I have to respond to a few e-mails baby’. Why do people write so many mails, I hate them like seriously.
- You will have advises doing rounds and rounds in the house and lucky you that you will get them all for free without any price negotiations for his damn costly hourly rates. Not just it, he is a great problem solver too. Believe me he can maintain an excel for everything under the sun. Also the kind of job he does, he isn’t tolerant to ambiguity.
- “Right now, I am in a call. I’ll call you in sometime” One ends early, and he is already dialed into the next one. Treat yourself like a lucky girl if he actually calls back exactly in sometime. It will happen for sure but after hours or until you decide to flood him with calls, watsapp, skype, viber messages or more. (You actually have to adopt these technologies in your life to keep in touch with him.)
- Take no promises, please! No, I am not kidding. Its not intentional, he wants to keep his promises and be your best guy but his boss (partner) will not let him be. He audits the internal risk management procedures of client companies but hardly knows, abides by any of the procedures for management of his own house. The poor guy hardly has any time.
- Where is my weekend? You ask this and he will be like, Oh, we just had it! You ask again, When? He is quick with answers….Aaah, last month baby. Really when you had a call in the Saturday afternoon, then in the evening and on a Sunday too. We had to visit a friends place and then you said ‘Oh, I just forgot to tell you about the project deadline, lets meet them next weekend.’ Phew!!!
- Are you a travel enthusiast? Does African culture attract you more than European? Bingo! Have enough empty pages in your passport. I bet husband will never disappoint you with foreign trips just that you must sound over-enthusiastic for countries like -Sudan and Saudi Arabia. Oh, its not that bad, you get those Europe trips too. Ask me!
- You must personally thank the inventors that the mobile phones come with blue-tooth set and hands-free. How would the consultants attend conference calls while driving a car, on a family day or while inspecting a new house, most of your events would get cancelled if not it.
- Distance makes hearts go fonder. Not that I love to say this but I cant help it either. Celebrate whatever days you get together because you just cant be sure of being in the same continent, country, city on the birthdays, anniversary or festivals. Mostly you will be away, thus make the most of the other days.
- Rather, he loves you more when you say you are super busy. He will always motivate you, cheer you and inspire you to take your career seriously because if you don’t you will not let him thrive peacefully. If you keep busy, he is happy for two things, first he can live his life happily with his clients, meetings, audits,calls and emails and second he can always escape your rants saying, it was you who was busy.
- Oh you will see the child in him when he talks of those air miles, hotel or credit card points. No he may not be using them so often for himself but he loves to see them increase. He loves to pamper you too because he knows he is guilty that he is not giving you much time. You can bribe him into expensive gifts anytime. The best part about a consultant’s character is that he knows the facts and truth about his life but he knows it better how to showcase them differently.
- Most of the consultant’s that I know are my husband’s friend and they love to party. Give them no reason and yet they know how to celebrate. Friday gets them all super excited as if this one will never come again. The weekend nights are about booze, you drink or you don’t(hubby is a teetotaler) you got to join the gang and and believe me most of them are tipsy but they never forget to keep a count of their drinks.
Of all that I have written above, the most important is that he (my consultant Hubby-chubby) happily does it all for me, for the family, for I can comfortably do what I want and write my blogs. I know he wants to sleep sound-proof to the alarm but he gets up before it rings because he fears he might oversleep and miss his flight. He wants to laze on Sundays and be with me on our special days but not that he can always afford to. His face shows that he hates to travel on a Monday morning but he always makes up with his smiling face. He tries to make the best of his time by clinging on every bit of sleep whenever he can at the airports, in the flight or while traveling in the taxi. Those who read me know that he does his laundry too. He has mastered this art effectively, after all he lives out of a suitcase and needs to look suave and handsome everyday. He doesn’t get to eat home cooked food often and in many places has to settle for a lousy salad to keep a check on the weight around the belly. And I bet if he had time he would make a better travel blogger because he has got amazing experiences, countries, places up his sleeves.
This post is for my hubby and other consultant friends. No offense to anyone, just laugh it away!
Second in the series—
74 thoughts on “When you are a Consultant’s wife, you know this life….”
This is so true ! I can relate so much to this article. A must share 😀
Thanks for reading it, sharing it and making it a hit… You were the first reader and since then the blog has been rocking..
Commendable write-up ! “Togetherness is all I am after…” a poet said to his love…
really…….i never knew about all this….;-)
Chalo, finally u got to know Mr. Hubby!!!
Hahaha I could relate to quite a few of the points your hubby goes through.. :p
Ha ha.. I am sure u have a similar lifestyle…
This one is a commendable write-up. Since its bout husband and wife, I will go ahead and say – In a marriage “togetherness” is what all you are longing for, ALWAYS ! You can get it by being together or being in trans. Time and Space remains variable in all relationships.
Thanks u Indresh Sir.. Oh yes! Togetherness matters…
Loved your post and I could relate to it. Though VT is not a consultant in the Big 4, his job makes him work late every single day of the week. I also have the entire house to myself each weekday..
Thank you Parul for reading my blogs regularly..
Yes, this is quite much every wive’s story…. Blog about your urban love story…
There are pros and cons but I see that happy couple in every sentence and Manjulika, that’s what matters (not that should stop you from flooding the calls i say 😀 :D) Thanks for sharing! 🙂 (had my share of laughs 😉 )
He he.. Thanks for reading Shanx..
Oh yes, this post is all about declaring that I don’t mind pestering him with calls.. and he must know..
It’s great how you’ve written so casually about a consultants life! I was one for 5 years and gave it up because all the things that you think are quirky and funny will fade away. You’d rather be with the ones you love rather than give excuses. You’d rather spent that time with your family than regret it later. You’d rather crib about closet space rather than have it all to yourself. You’d rather knock some sense into your husband or keep writing blogs about how it would’ve been. Sorry for the harsh words but I’ve learnt it the hard way and many of us are in that boat.
I am glad you read and made your point.
There isn’t anything harsh about it…
This was so so direct Dil Se types. You have beautifully worded the pros and cons of being Mrs. Consultant. M sure this post would be the hot topic of discussion in those consultant parties for many days to come…:)
Thanks for the read dear… Oh yes! it was a direct Dilse type wala..
As you always predict rightly, its already making waves in the consultant lives.. lots of mails are pouring in..
I could visualize a small scene on each point…with ur same reaction at the end (want to kill u but cannot types)
this can be a good idea for new serial on SAB channel
u have proved that distances cannot come in b/w true love…
God bless u both.
Ha ha ha… Divya… u know it all..
Thank u for hearing it all in real so many times…
Haan TV channel, I dont mind… I have a script in mind..
Lol, such a nice post Manjulika, honestly I liked the “he loves you more when you say you are super busy” paragraph more than any other line….
Thank u for reading Alok Sir…
Loved this post! It was a slice of real life 🙂
Thanks for the read Akanksha.. oh yes its a slice of my real life..
Thanks Ritika for your piece of story!
Loved the post! now that Im finding a husband for me. Im definately ensure Ill go for consultant boy too 🙂
Go go Go for the consultant husband…tag along and cling your travels!!!
This is hilarious! I feel you girl, most of these are true for me too – an Army Wife. But the “Everything can wait but not the emails” had me cracking up. In our house, that email fellow is me and yes, my maid knows it too 😉 Loved it!
I so often hear from you about your army wife life and thus can relate that we are all sailing in the same boat..
Oh yes, bloggers have their important mails too..
Awww, As a wife of an ex-consultant, I can so relate to this. We have spent 3 to 9 months apart when he used to travel on those stints and oh, the e-mails and phone calls, they don’t stop, do they? Lovely post 🙂 Blessed to be in a relationship with lots of understanding, though, right? Stay happy, Manjulika 🙂
Thanks Shailaja… So u know the life absolutely as u have been a wife to ex-consultant..
#urbanlovestories are full of these quirky rules of life..
Brilliant piece! Recently about 3 months ago got a noise free bluetooth device so my fellow colleagues hear be clearly on long office calls!!! Every para is just bang on, some minute details – walking up before alarm rings, sleep in taxi, have salad!! Kudos to u!!
Thanks for the read Deepak, glad u could connect to every para..
Long office calls… bluetooth device… all consultant’s have the same story.. 🙂
Manjilika.. just loved this post… bang on every word especially ‘Partner’ which is used so often at my home too… awesum post..
That was amazing lines that he wants u to concentrate in ur career… lol
Thanks for this wonderful blog…
First thank you for reading the blog-post and I am so glad you could relate to it well..
Ha ha.. I am sure u know the crib around the Partner..
Yes I am consultant’s wife and I am into academics. So as stable as my job is, the more pepped up migratory life is bestowed upon my partner. We argue on every point. Thankfully currently his client was in Delhi so he comes back home these days. But his frequent travels to Europe, Dubai irritates me to say the least!
Also he once had a 3 month stay in Saudi 😀
Where are my weekends?? My fav one liner every weekend!! 😛 😀
Ha ha… where is my weekend? I do the same every week… Hubby has been to Saudi for like 9 times for atleast a month at a stretch..
Manjulika hats off to you for just perfectly writing this post…u spoke my heart out in this post…very wittily you wrote about the actual scene in my house too.!! Inspite of everything happening around in our lives…the love seems to brew and thats what keeps us together!
Hey Suchita, Thank us so much for calling it a perfectly written post…
I am glad you could connect better..
Oh yes! everything is on one side and love on one…
Very nice one…
Thanks Sanoj… Glad you came around and read it 🙂
So basically a life not worth living…sad… Will quickly lead to high BP and obesity
Quite true TOM… but none can help it.. everyone is living it and I would pray these things dont happen to anyone…
Awesome write up. Really loved the way you wrote it- descriptive, honest, pepped with humour and you kept it real!
Thank u Kshloka… Yes, I wanted to talk my heart out keeping it real…
Amazingly expressed the kitty-gritty of consultant’s wife life… Facing the same here dear
I am glad you read Sabita, enjoyed and connected with it. 🙂
What a amazing description of our life… You have penned it down so meticulously. It reflects we consultant’s entire time line and time sheets 🙂 regds, Amit Bajaj
Best blog on Consultants and his sorroundings. Great..
Thanks u so much for the read and calling it the best 🙂
Thank u for the read Amit. I am glad u enjoyed… and thanks for those two terms… time line and timesheets… I missed them here but have used them in the next post 🙂
So glad you could relate to it.. Seriously its the same story in every consultant’s house… less works for our husbands and more power to us wives…
Oh so you are the consultant and you live this life… hope you passed on the blog to your husband… 🙂
Dont feel guilty, thats ur work as long as u r enjoying it…
If I had read this article before my marriage would surely have shared with my would be wife. But then I guess she wouldn’t have married me at first place 😛
Neways its a very tough life not only for consultants but their families at well. I hope all (including myself) start giving a little less priority to their career and a little more to their family.
Very well written… Having living a consultant-like life, I could relate to how my family has been putting up with me ! Thought provoking. Thank you! 🙂
Lovely post Manjulika. Heart goes out to your husband too, who gets less time with his family than he wants… Hoping he will start finding more time soon 🙂
Do husbands of consultants qualify 🙂 ?
Thankfully wife doesnt have to travel too often, so not all of the above are true. But yes, the ubiquitous phone calls in the weekend cant be wished away 😉
Great one.Loved reading it. Well, a doctor’s life is the same minus the frequent trips!!!
Thank you for sharing this! I am a wife of a consultant and we have a 4 1/2 year old. It’s a crazy life for sure. I cannot tell you how comforting I found it to know there are other wives out there just like me. Most people (after asking what my husband does) just look at me confused when I say consulting. Lol then I just say he travels a lot. I’m currently a bit down because my hubs is in one of those sun-Friday (due to limitations on flights and early/late meetings-you know the drill) travel schedules and the weeks are dragging on. It’s hard on my daughter too but it’s the life she knows. We make the best of our time together. Though it can be tough, we wouldn’t trade him in. He’s a keeper. Stay strong my consultant wife sister and keep writing!
My fiance is consultant. It’s been close to 4 months since we first met. I am not married yet but still can completely relate to it.. word by word 😛
We both loved your blog 🙂
Bravo….superb..every word is absolutely true….
Nicely written manjulika, I can totally understand from the other side as I’m the ‘Consultant’ in the house who’s always been on the move… When we decided to have a baby, we only know how we did it!!! And even now that I’m on flexi -work arrangement, lot of my life looks like this!!
Kudos to the partners of consultants!! Be it the wives or the husbands!!!!